Recently in Cancer Category
On Father's Day 2009
Dearest Dad,
Because you were such a wonderful father to me, I was able to put my trust in my Heavenly Father. Going through brain cancer at the age of 45 was so much less trial than it would have been without that trust. As you were raising us I could see you were doing everything for the best for us. You made choices so that life would be the best for your children. Even though the choices weren't always in your best interest or convenience or enjoyment, you still made the difficult choices. Therefore I can believe my Heaveny Father when he says in his word that he is "working all things..." Because of that, I can go gentle into that good night. Thank you dearest Daddy for always keeping your word to me, and for always being such a fine example my entire life.
I love you so very, very much.
Please, please, please put your faith in our Heavenly Father, so I will see you in Heaven one day. I wasn't planning on beating the whole family to heaven, but it seems that our Father has other plans. THe rest of you need to get your ducks in a row so I'm not up there all by myself.
Dearest Dad,
Because you were such a wonderful father to me, I was able to put my trust in my Heavenly Father. Going through brain cancer at the age of 45 was so much less trial than it would have been without that trust. As you were raising us I could see you were doing everything for the best for us. You made choices so that life would be the best for your children. Even though the choices weren't always in your best interest or convenience or enjoyment, you still made the difficult choices. Therefore I can believe my Heaveny Father when he says in his word that he is "working all things..." Because of that, I can go gentle into that good night. Thank you dearest Daddy for always keeping your word to me, and for always being such a fine example my entire life.
I love you so very, very much.
Please, please, please put your faith in our Heavenly Father, so I will see you in Heaven one day. I wasn't planning on beating the whole family to heaven, but it seems that our Father has other plans. THe rest of you need to get your ducks in a row so I'm not up there all by myself.
......Huh? Where am I? I seem to be in the hospital again! Since there was a phone in my room I callled my sister and asked her "what happened? She told me I had two seizures after the second one I lost consciousness and that's when they called 911.. Anyways the last memory I have was sitting on the couch with the kids and the next thing I know I'm waking up in the hospital. Happily I got discharged to go home from the hospital that very day.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
I think to understand this promise we need to ask what is God’s purpose in our lives?
What is God’s definition of good?
How do we know we are one of “them that love God?
Are we them that love God?Jesus said, John 14:21 "He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."
What is God’s definition of good?
His Son! This is my Son with whom I am well pleased.
What Is our Heavenly Father’s purpose ?
8:29 For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. (Hebrews 12:5, 6, 10, 11)
All the affliction that comes to the children of God, whether through persecution or sickness, is intended by God to increase our holiness by causing us to rely more on the God who raises the dead (2 Corinthians 1:9).
We need to ask what does God mean by good? Does He mean wealth, power, wisdom? No. Thus saith the LORD, Let NOT the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: 9:23-24 But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth Me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.
So this promise does not promise us wealth, health, or an affliction free life that a natural man might think are good and to be desired... But God does promise...
God will equip you with everything good to do His will, accomplishing in us what pleases Him through Jesus, the Messiah. To Him be glory forever and ever! Amen.
I think to understand this promise we need to ask what is God’s purpose in our lives?
What is God’s definition of good?
How do we know we are one of “them that love God?
Are we them that love God?Jesus said, John 14:21 "He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."
What is God’s definition of good?
His Son! This is my Son with whom I am well pleased.
What Is our Heavenly Father’s purpose ?
8:29 For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. (Hebrews 12:5, 6, 10, 11)
All the affliction that comes to the children of God, whether through persecution or sickness, is intended by God to increase our holiness by causing us to rely more on the God who raises the dead (2 Corinthians 1:9).
We need to ask what does God mean by good? Does He mean wealth, power, wisdom? No. Thus saith the LORD, Let NOT the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: 9:23-24 But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth Me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.
So this promise does not promise us wealth, health, or an affliction free life that a natural man might think are good and to be desired... But God does promise...
God will equip you with everything good to do His will, accomplishing in us what pleases Him through Jesus, the Messiah. To Him be glory forever and ever! Amen.
I was really excited about the Norwegian influence and flavor to our
new Montana community. It was fun to be on the Board of the
Nordicfest, wear a bunad in the parade, develop my own rosemaling style
and teach it to local ladies through the Troy Adult Ed.
We also made friends with the other local families. I taught a public speaking extra-curricular youth class. But all these things… if I am to lead them, teach, them organize them, require a reasonable expectation of health. But now I don’t know from one morning to the next if it is going to be a good day or a bad day. So I no longer feel like I can be counted upon, which is a feeling I do not like at all! But, alll to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
We also made friends with the other local families. I taught a public speaking extra-curricular youth class. But all these things… if I am to lead them, teach, them organize them, require a reasonable expectation of health. But now I don’t know from one morning to the next if it is going to be a good day or a bad day. So I no longer feel like I can be counted upon, which is a feeling I do not like at all! But, alll to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
WE need your prayers more than ever. The first opinion on the latest latest MRI which I wrote about a few days ago is that I had
even more cancerous growth while I was on chemo. It is growing into my
motor skills area of my hind brain Since NOVEMBER A new growth HAS GROWN
TO 3.4 centimeters. We did not like that report and got a second opinion.Radiologist number two diagnosed brain necrosis, a radiation side effect but no new growth. but recommended a PET scan as a dignostic tool. I still needed treatment so we searched out the best in the west at UCSF and were told last night "the cancer is out of control" there is new growth and you need to start another type of chemo as soon as possible. Further radiation or surgery is NOT an option because of the certain brain damage. that would result.
HOPE AGAINST HOPE -- "To want something keenly even when the odds
against getting or achieving it are enormous. The phrase derives from
the Bible (Romans 4:18): Saint Paul is writing about Abraham, 'Who
against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many
nations, according to that which was spoken.'" From "The Dictionary of
Cliches" by James Rogers (Ballantine Books, New York, 1985).
According to the first Radiologis'ts report My last MRI showed the chemotherapy did not work and while I was taking chemo a new tumor started growing into my motor function area of my brain. That was the latest news from a few days ago......BUT Hope against hope....
I got a second opinion yesterday and what the first radiologist took for new cancer growths, the second radiologists said could very well be scar tissue(dead cells) caused by the chemo and radiation.. A pet scan is recommended, but only a tissue sample can for certain determine if it is indeed dead cells. But this could be very wonderful news. And the weakness on my left side could indeed be symptoms of the build up dead cells from the chemo and radiation instead of a new cancer. We are hoping to have the scans reviewed by a neuro-oncology team at UCSF and get their recommendation plan of action.
Wow! What an emotional roller coaster we've been on lately! Since I know all things happen for a purpose I really want to do some deep thinking about what I just learned about myself these last few days.
According to the first Radiologis'ts report My last MRI showed the chemotherapy did not work and while I was taking chemo a new tumor started growing into my motor function area of my brain. That was the latest news from a few days ago......BUT Hope against hope....
I got a second opinion yesterday and what the first radiologist took for new cancer growths, the second radiologists said could very well be scar tissue(dead cells) caused by the chemo and radiation.. A pet scan is recommended, but only a tissue sample can for certain determine if it is indeed dead cells. But this could be very wonderful news. And the weakness on my left side could indeed be symptoms of the build up dead cells from the chemo and radiation instead of a new cancer. We are hoping to have the scans reviewed by a neuro-oncology team at UCSF and get their recommendation plan of action.
Wow! What an emotional roller coaster we've been on lately! Since I know all things happen for a purpose I really want to do some deep thinking about what I just learned about myself these last few days.
I am extremely tired of having cancer. I am tired of starting another round of chemo every time I am finally starting to feel well and tired to be back to feeling awful once I'm on the chemo. I am tired of missing my sons' activities because I feel too sick or too exhausted to go. I am tired causing pain, worry, and anxiety to my dear family, each of whom have enough in their own lives without me bringing more. I'm tired of the stupid side effects: perpetual stomach pain, joint pain, increasing hearing difficulties, reading difficulties. I tired of taking so many pills. I tired that cancer makes me the center of attention, an object of pity, or the subject of gossip. I want my normal life back please.
You are my King O God.
Command victories for me.
Through You I will live.
For I will not trust in my radiation
Nor shall the chemo save me.
But You can heal me.
In You I will boast all day long.
And praise Your name forever.
You are my King O God.
Command victories for me.
Through You I will live.
For I will not trust in my radiation
Nor shall the chemo save me.
But You can heal me.
In You I will boast all day long.
And praise Your name forever.
My Dear Husband had his own way of lifting my spirits today. He took me on a toboggan tour of the winter wonderland out in the meadow. All the trees were decorated with crystal frost.
I felt physically bad on Sunday but I also let the physical put me into a mental funk. I kept it from the boys. But of course I tortured my poor husband with all my negativity. Uhggg! What a wonderful way to ruin the afternoon and any hope of getting a good night's sleep. Sometimes I think of those negative thoughts like a coal black squirrel sent from Satan that runs round, and round, and round my head like a rat on a wheel. I have to take that d____m squirrel captive and send it back where it came from!
I'm on day 3 out of 5 days of chemo for January. I'm feeling surprisingly well. I'm not feelingly nearly as bad as I felt during my December chemo. I'm figuring out some patterns and I think I need to completely avoid coffee, tea, soda. Those things are just too hard on my chemo aggravated gut. So far so good.
It was pretty hard to hear on Monday that the latest MRI showed that the radiation and chemo did not put the cancer in remission like we all were praying. BUT, toady is another day that I am here and I am so very thankful for it. God holds all our lives in His hands. I am sure a thousand other times that I'm not even aware of He has protected me.... when I've been horseback riding, driving on icy roads, hiking in the mountains, wrangling sheep, or?
Today is the first time since my first seizure and cancer diagnosis back in July I feel completely normal. Many of the memories from the last five months are gone. It might be more accurate to say that the memories were never recorded. I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I feel as if I have been sleeping and dreaming these last five months. I am so very blessed to have such a wonderful husband, a close knit family, dear friends, a loving Church family, and Christ Jesus who carried me through this trial. Because I have been so richly blessed, though some parts were like a bad dream, it never has never been a nightmare.
If you feel fine thank the LORD! I do! Thank you LORD for normality!
If you feel fine thank the LORD! I do! Thank you LORD for normality!
I am finishing my fifth week of radiation and chemo. The chemo and
radiation effects have finally caught up with me. So I'm feeling mostly
exhausted and my guts have gone on strike. I am making myself eat even
though I don't feel too swift.
But, I must remember to THANK and PRAISE the Lord that the first four
weeks of my treatment were so easy. How blessed am I that I made it so
far without any ill effects!
Thank you so much for your continuing prayers!
radiation effects have finally caught up with me. So I'm feeling mostly
exhausted and my guts have gone on strike. I am making myself eat even
though I don't feel too swift.
But, I must remember to THANK and PRAISE the Lord that the first four
weeks of my treatment were so easy. How blessed am I that I made it so
far without any ill effects!
Thank you so much for your continuing prayers!
I am baffling my doctors because I have virtually no side effects from the
chemo, radiation, or medications. Even better news is that the pins and
needles/burning neurological symptoms have diminished considerably! This
means the treatments are working and the cancer cells are being
destroyed! Praise the LORD! Thank you for praying! God is answering
your prayers!
I had a dream, the night before last, that my radiation oncologist
looked at my MRI taken at the end of my treatment in October. He was
nearly jumping up and down with excitement saying, "You're cured!" That
was a GREAT dream which I expect to come true!
Keep praying!
chemo, radiation, or medications. Even better news is that the pins and
needles/burning neurological symptoms have diminished considerably! This
means the treatments are working and the cancer cells are being
destroyed! Praise the LORD! Thank you for praying! God is answering
your prayers!
I had a dream, the night before last, that my radiation oncologist
looked at my MRI taken at the end of my treatment in October. He was
nearly jumping up and down with excitement saying, "You're cured!" That
was a GREAT dream which I expect to come true!
Keep praying!
I've started my fourth week of radiation and chemo. I am doing really well! I am still gaining back weight rather than loosing it. Though I am starting to have some cumulative effects from the treatments. But, my husband and I laugh together and say "Finally some proof that the chemo has not just been sugar pills, and the radiation has actually been turned on during the treatments!" When my energy is gone for the day, it is really gone. But, thus far that is not until after dinner. So I'm still up to doing a lot and really enjoying visiting with family! My other whine is my hair follicles in the path of the radiation entry and exit area finally couldn't take it any longer. Most of the hair on both side of my head came out in clumps. Instant mohawk! I can now give any punk rocker a run for their money! Okay, I'm done whining!
I am doing so well, feeling so well, and feeling happy and at peace. I KNOW this is because God is answering your prayers for me. Praise the LORD God! I feel very blessed!
I am doing so well, feeling so well, and feeling happy and at peace. I KNOW this is because God is answering your prayers for me. Praise the LORD God! I feel very blessed!
My second week of treatment has gone great. I KNOW it is because you are uplifting me in prayer! The side effects of my medications are supposed to be nausea, headaches, depression, anxiety, to name a few! Instead, I have PEACE and JOY, no nausea and no headaches! I have even regained all the weight I lost! I have even regained the weight I lost over the last year when I was feeling crummy but not knowing why.
God bless you all for uplifting me in prayer!
Lots of love to you all!
Linnea Rose
God bless you all for uplifting me in prayer!
Lots of love to you all!
Linnea Rose
I wanted to let you all know that I finished my second week of treatment. I am doing GREAT! I still have quite a lot of energy. I still am nausea free. Also I am back up to my pre-illness weight!
Thank you all for praying for me! God is so GOOD!
Thank you all for praying for me! God is so GOOD!
My first week of radiation and chemo has gone amazingly well. God is so good! I was apprehensive about the chemo because nausea is a common side effect. But, I am so happy to write that I have had no nausea what so ever! I have my last food at 8 pm. I take an anti nausea pill at 9 pm. At 10 pm I take my chemo pill and go to sleep. I wake up HUNGRY about 4 am, and I actually go to the kitchen for a quick snack and then I go back to sleep until 6 am.
I had been losing weight for the last six months or so. Then when I was hospitalized, I lost even more weight. Not good. My all time low was 89 lbs.! But, praise God, I have been able to gain back 7 lbs. in the last couple of weeks!
Thank you all for praying for me. I know God hears your prayers!
I had been losing weight for the last six months or so. Then when I was hospitalized, I lost even more weight. Not good. My all time low was 89 lbs.! But, praise God, I have been able to gain back 7 lbs. in the last couple of weeks!
Thank you all for praying for me. I know God hears your prayers!
My 1st day of radiation & chemo went wonderfully!!!
No side effects at all ! No nausea ! Thank you so very much for your prayers!
No side effects at all ! No nausea ! Thank you so very much for your prayers!
I start radiation and chemo on Monday. I am excited to get started, get through it, and get well! My sweet sister has been cutting my hair into cute shorter hair styles day by day. Right now hair just brushes my shoulders. Tomorrow she is going to cut my hair to chin length. We are having fun with it. Well why not? I'm going to loose my hair anyway! I also ordered three adorable hats.
Thank you for your continuing prayers!
Thank you for your continuing prayers!
I just want to thank you so very much for your prayers! God id so good! I woke up HAPPY this morning and full of hope. I know this is because God is answering your prayers for me!
